Stuff ‘appen ‘ere but luckily ah am on and to ‘elp out.

Le trees were rocking about making a lot of noise and le sky grumble about eet a lot.

They make so much noise none of us can sleep.

When le sky finish with le grumbling, someone turn on le lights,
and turn them off again and then on again.

Le next day, when ah ask Monsieur Paterson about all this noise,
‘e tell me le trees were up all night ‘on da plonk’.

And sure enough we see a bunch of trees ‘ave decided
they ‘ad enough – they all lie down for a nap.
‘Dey is plastered’ say Monsieur Paterson ‘oo know about such things.

Most of them stay like that le next day too.

‘Aye’ said Monsieur Paterson, ‘dose trees partied hard, got bolloxed and now would you look at dem.’
Then ‘e add, ‘Let dat be a lesson to yer son’.

Ah make le mistake of telling Muzzerr about mah lesson le next day, over le drink.

‘Muzzerr,’ ah say, ‘do not drink too much or you will get bolloxed and need a lie down ‘

‘What are you on about Son?’ she say,
‘that sounds like something Danny Boy Paterson would make up’.
Muzzerr does not look ‘appy about thees so ah regret mentioning eet.

Then she go on and on about Monsieur Paterson and ‘ow ‘e tell stories and drink too much.
But ah ‘ave lost interest in what she say and ah discover that eef ah pull
le trough with mah teefs le water slosh everywhere.

Then, ah see Uzzerr Muzzerr approach at speed so ah ‘ide be’ind Muzzerr.
Noone can see me ‘ere.

Only because Uzzerr muzzerr ees not too bright, ah do not stay ‘idden
for too long in case she panic and theenk ah a’ve gone on le plonk with le trees.
”ere ah am Uzzerr Muzzerr’ ah say, popping out from be’ind Muzzerr’s big bottom.
She look so ‘appy to see me, ah assume eet ees because ah am not bolloxed.

So ah take ‘er for a walk to look at all le bolloxed trees.