Today, ah find mah imaginary friend ‘iding out in my Muzzer’s ‘airy armpit.

What are you doing ‘ere? Ah zay. But ‘e do not reply.

Zo ah may ‘ave given ‘im a bit of a push…

Zuddenly ‘e iz not zere any more…

Zo ah check ‘er knees.

All of zem. She ‘az a lot of knees, and ‘e might be clinging on to zem

Ah check le ground to zee if ‘e ‘az fallen off zumwhere.

And zen ah feel ah must talk to Muzzerr about zis.

Muzzerr, ah zay, Muzzerr, ah ‘ave zumzing to tell you…

What is it my son? she zay.

But before ah can speak ah feel ah ‘ave to check ‘er stern for extra cargo.

What are you doing my son? She ask.

Zuddenly ah don’t want to tell ‘er about mah friend zo ah make up a bit of a fib.
Ah tell ‘er ah will ‘old ‘er ‘ead up for ‘er, az she must be tired.

Silly boy she say, I have a neck to do that for me.

But ah insist, your neck iz not good at ‘is job, ah zay, your ‘ead iz always down in le grass.
Zo ah will ‘old it up for you.

Only problem iz, ‘olding up my Muzzer’s ‘ead iz thirsty work so pretty soon
ah need ah drink.

Muzzer ah zay, just do not ask me to ‘old up your big fat bottom.