Ah ‘ave been on Day release for two day now.
Muzzeurr is being  over protective but ‘oo am ah to object.
Ah do not mind being ler fussed oveurr.

Every tarm a turn around ah ‘ave le new ‘airstyle..

‘My boy’ she sob, ‘you were like a fush out of water in that prison’.

That stop L’Uncle in le middle of le mud bath.
‘What deed you just say Merls?’

‘I sud my luttle boy was like a fush out of water’.

‘Feeesh,’ said L’Uncle, ‘I think you’ll find it’s a FEEESH’

‘That’s what I sud Persil, a FUSH’.


‘Crikey Merls, woi don’t you learn to speak the Quoins eengleesh, no wonder the boy has a spoich impediment’

‘My boy is a known associate of the Lambidos’, bragged Muzzeurr, ‘and if you don’t like the way I speak, I’m quite sure he could arrange for you to take a little SWIM with those FUSHES’

Ah can not believe what ah just ‘eard. Ah am MORTIFIED.
There is no such gang as le Lambidos – ah made that up.
Muzzeurr must ‘ave been into le cloveur again while ah ‘ave been insard.
Quelle ‘orreurr, ah will now be scarred for larf.