At last ah am out on le Probation.
Le bond ees set;  eef ah do not turn up at le appointed tarm L’Uncle will ‘ave to forfeit le carrot for each minute ah am gone…

‘Listeen up yer hairy leedle Tosser’; ah must ‘ave spoken aloud again for L’Uncle interrupt le chain of thought, ‘your bond is nothing of the sort and you know eet’.

‘I think you will find, L’Uncle, that if you botheur to read le small print that is exactly what it say’.

‘So, L’Uncle, you are either with me or you are against me, what will it be?’

‘Oi have no idea what you are on about’ ‘e say, ‘you are raving on loike a drunken kangaroo at a cocktail party for lost crocodiles’.

Actually, ah ‘ave no idea what ah am on about either, ah am just quoting lines out of le movie that Uzzeur Muzzeur ‘as told me about…
‘Ah ‘ave le very particular set of skills,’ ah say, ‘skills that make me la mare for ‘orzes lark you’.
Ah admit it, that did not come out quite as planned but L’Uncle do not seem to notice.

Muzzeur is listening to what is going on.
Ah can tell she is embarrassed about mah be’aviour but ah do not care. Ah am enjoying mahself immensely.

‘If you tell anyone where ah am, ah will find you and ah will bart you,’ ah continue.

L’Uncle and ah continue to fart in le forest.
Muzzeur continue to pretend she is on la beach ‘aving le nice ride.

‘LA LA LA LA LAAAAA’ she go.
‘Bleuh bleuh crockasheet bleuh’ go L’Uncle in Australian which no one understand.

And everyone admit, ah am le most cleveur and ‘andsome ‘orze in le ”ole paddock.

Well maybe not everyone.