The Poetry Recital

Today ah give le poetry reading, it is mah new ‘obby and,
lark everything ah do, ah am exceptional at it…
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Ah clear mah throat before ah begin, then….
‘Roses are red’…
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‘Worming paste is ghastly’
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‘Ah love le carrot’..
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‘But ah do not lark parsley’
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Ah ask L’uncle what ‘e think… ‘Huh l’Uncle, huh HUH?’
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‘Moi Son,’ ‘e say and ah know this will take a while and it will all be in Australian
so ah am already thinking up another poem…
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‘e carry on anyway –
‘A  kookaburra with a speech impediment could recoite better poetry than you’ ‘e say.
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But ah do not understand a word ‘e say, beside ah ‘ave another poem ready to go –
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‘Pardon moi for being so rude’…
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L’Uncle is trying to interrupt but ah ignore ‘im…
‘It was not me it was mah food,’
ah am shouting now so le ‘orzes next door can ‘ear it.
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‘It was a message from mah ‘eart’…
ah am fending off L’Uncle ‘oo is trying to get me to shut up before we both get in big trouble with Muzzeur.
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‘In other words it WAS LE FAAAARRRRRT‘ ah bellow.
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‘FART L’Uncle, get it? huh? HUH?’
I can not ‘elp mahself, ah do not know what get into me, ah am laughing ‘ysterically, taking great gulps of air.
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‘Haw haw haw’ ah go. ‘It was le fart L’Uncle’.
Ah ‘ave tears running down mah face and ah am snorting with le mirth.
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‘Ah make le joke about le farting L’Uncle, eh eh eh’.
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L’Uncle, ‘e try not to laugh. ‘e ‘as ‘is serious Old Man look on.
‘Zephyr, shut up and look behoind you’ ‘e whisper
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