Snow Business

This morning ah wake up to le carpet of white cold sterf.
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Ah ‘ave to be very careful ‘ow ah move on this.
‘Be careful Muzzeurr’ ah say, ‘You do not know ‘ow deep this is’.
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Of course,  very quickly, ah become le expert.
All le ‘orzes for miles around will come to ‘ear me talk about being le expert.
eh eh eh.
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L’Uncle, ‘e is impressed with mah skill.
This is ‘is impressed look.
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Because ‘e is so impressed, ah ‘elp mahself to ‘is ‘ay bag.
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And suddenly, ‘e does not look so impressed.
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So ah take  l’uge mouthful, ah can not ‘elp mahself.
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‘Strewth’ say L’Uncle, ‘do oi have to come over there and give you a bleeding hoofupyerbum?’
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Le Bleeding ‘oofupyerbum? For me?
Ah ‘ave no idea what that is but ah feel
‘onoured that L’Uncle would  present me with what is clearly le valuable Australian artifact.
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Did la queen get one when she visit? ah wondeur.
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L’Uncle is looking at me strangely. ‘e is probably wondering where ‘e is going to purchase le Bleeding ‘oofupyerbum from. ‘e is looking at Muzzeurr, ah doubt she ‘as one or she would ‘ave given it to me by now.
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Suddenly ‘e bart me for no reason ah can think of.
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Then ‘e gallop off before ah can catch ‘im.
Ah run afteur ‘im. Ah want mah Bleeding ‘oofupyerbum.
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‘L’Uncle, wait – aren’t you forgetting something?’
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Ah am trotting afteur ‘im fasteur and fasteur
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ah grab ‘old of ‘is smoking jacquet to slow ‘im down.
‘L’Uncle, give me mah Bleeding ‘oofupyerbum’.
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Muzzeurr is watching us. ‘You will get that kick up your bum if you are not careful Son’ she yell.
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Ah stop chasing L’Uncle, ‘What did you say Muzzeurr?’
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‘I said, if you do not stop hassling your Uncle, he will give you a great big kick up the bum and I will not stop him’.
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Somehow, this does not sound right; ah ‘ave to think about this.
Mah tongue tend to fall out of le mouth when ah think.
Le cold air on mah tongue feel good. le wind blow it sideway.
BRRRRRRRrrrrrrrppppppp it go.
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Ah stick le tongue out some more. Ah can taste l’air.
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L’Uncle is watching me taste l’air, ‘e will want some now.
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Sure enough, ‘e ‘as to taste l’air too.
‘e only take sips.

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We are now thinking of setting up our own Air Tasting club.
L’Uncle and Son.
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5 thoughts on “Snow Business

  1. Wow, snow in May/June, then i realize it’s the other side of the mother ship – earth.
    I see His Lordship & gorgeous company looking the part in their winter jackets!

  2. Oh thank you. Your stories make my sides hurt and my eyes water – both of which feel surprisingly good!

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