Monsieur Paterson, ‘oo ees a big pig, ate too much grass so ‘e ‘ad to lie down and sleep eet off.
Of course, because ah am a polite french ‘orze, naturally ah join ‘im so ‘e will not be lonely.

Ah may ‘ave eaten a bit much too.

Thees ees when Uzzerr Muzzerr decide to come and pay ‘er respects.
Of course, ah nimbly spring to mah feets.

Ah ‘ave to rock about a bit to get some momentum, ah am at mah maximum loading capacity…

And then ah am up.
‘Greetings Muzzerr,’ ah say, ‘you will not mind eef ah sit ‘ere for a bit? –
‘ere you can sit beside me, right ‘ere’

As she make no move to sit, ah get to mah feets and sigh ‘eavily.
‘What can ah do for you, Uzzerr Muzzerr,’ ah say.
Of course ah ‘ave no intention of doing anything for ‘er
but ah say eet because ah am a polite ‘orze.

Monsieur Paterson ees too busy stuffing ‘is face to say anything for once,
besides, ‘e ‘as ‘airy trouseurs on. Ah would never trust the word of a ‘orze ‘oo wear ‘airy trouseur

Ah mean look at them.

French ‘orzes know better than to go out and squeeze into 2 pair of ‘airy trouseur.

Of course, Monsieur Paterson, ees Irish, ‘e does not know any betteur.

Even Le Uncle, ‘oo ees Australian, would not be seen dead een such a fashion impediment. Ah must talk to ‘im about dribbling een public.

Suddenly, Monsieur Paterson, ‘e spot a ‘oly Crap.
Ah ‘ave not seen one of those een a long time.
‘B’Jaysus,’ ‘e say, ‘would ya take a look at dat’.

So ah do. Obviously, ah am le bravest ‘orze in le ‘ole paddock
and ah know a ‘oly Crap when ah see one.

‘QUELLE ‘ORREOUR!!!‘, ah shriek, as le ‘oly Crap suddenly leap up in le air.

‘What is it?’ ask Monsieur Paterson. Ah am able to inform ‘im that eet ees a ‘oly Crap, but ah secretly wish Le Uncle was ‘ere, ‘e would know what to do.

Monsieur Paterson and ah ‘ide be’ind a tree. No ‘oly Crap can see us ‘ere.
‘We must be very careful,’ ah say.

After an ‘our or two, ‘eet does not moved any more. So, being a very brave ‘orze, ah go to investigate.
Monsieur Paterson stay be’ind me as ‘backup’.

Le ‘oly Crap ‘as died.
‘Do not worry Monsieur Paterson, ah yell,
‘ah ‘ave dealt a mortal blow to Le ‘oly Crap, ‘e will not try that again’.
That will teach ‘im. No ‘oly Crap will get le betteur of  Zephyr Soprano.