Monsieur Danny ‘as taught me  about new type of therapy which use small electric pulses to ease le pain of arthritis. Of course, ah ‘ave no pain of arthritis but eet does feel good.
Eet involves using a unit ah call a TENS machine and miles of electric tape,
all of which Uzzerr Muzzerr kindly supplied.

Le Uncle, ‘e ees le skeptical ‘orze.
‘Yeah but,’ ‘e say, ‘You will eventually get a beeg shock, mate’.

What would ‘e know. Ah can not be shocked by anyzing.
‘e ees full of Yeah Buts. Ah do not listen to ‘im any more.

La petit electric pulses feel good all over mah back.

‘B’jaysus’ say Monsieur Danny, ‘da boy is good’.
Monsieur Danny was le ‘orze ‘oo was kind enough to teach me all about le TENS therapy’. Learning about le pulses ees also useful for getting out of le paddock and going visiting.

Ah see Uzzerr Muzzerr approaching and she does not look ‘appy for some reason.
Ah am sensing a bollocking for some reason only she know.

‘Crikey’ say Le Uncle, ‘I wouldn’t do that eef I was you’.

Ah do not listen to ‘im. Instead ah turn around and apply le TENS tape to mah rump.

Uzzerr Muzzerr ees getting closer now.
She ees jumping up and down and shouting at me.
Ah ‘ave no idea what she ees on about.
‘Huh? Muzzerr, what ees this you say?’

Ah wonder eef ah should show ‘er ‘ow to use mah TENS unit.
Eet ees good also for stress apparently.

Ah decide to show ‘er ‘ow strong ah ‘ave become.
Ah know ‘ow impressed she will be with me when she see me lift
le fence pole right up out of le ground and stride out of le tape yard.
After mah TENS therapy ah am feeling amazingly full of vim and vigour.

Le Uncle, ee ees well impressed.

Monsieur Danny Boy ees worried about Uzzerr Muzzerr for some reason.
‘Come on lads,’ ‘e say, ’tis time for Elevenses so it is’.

We ‘ave done TENS and now we are about t do ELEVENses now!
Ah am very excited to learn about this.
So we all gallop off and leave Uzzerr Muzzerr and
Muzzerr wondering what ees going on.

We are le paddock bad boys and ah am enjoying mahself immensely.