It is not easy being le only Decorated War ‘ero in le paddock.

Ah am constantly being interrupted.

When ah finally agree to an interview, it iz on Le Uncle’s new Chat Show…
‘Beaucoup at Noon’.

‘Tell all our listeners in the next door paddock’, zay Beaucoup,
‘What it is like being a genuine war hero’.

‘Well,’ ah zay, ‘ah am a ‘umble little ‘orze and ah do not like to brag’.

‘But just between you and me eet eez not just mah bravery ah ‘ave to endure
but le fact zat ah am so incredibly ‘andsome and now ah am decorated also’.

‘’ah ‘ave a certain amount of ‘errrr ‘ow you zay… je ne sais quoi ‘ah zay,
– ah ‘ave no idea what eet means but eet zound suitably French to me.

‘Orzes like me are a rare breed’ ah zay and zen ah ‘ave to lean over and plant a
big Gaelic kiss on Beaucoup’s nose, az ‘e appear to be loosing interest.

Zat woke ‘im up.
‘e, instantly all alert for anyone ‘oo appear ‘overly French’.

‘ah waz telling le listerners,  about mah je ne sais quoi’
ah zay, ‘ah am plastered in eet’.

But Beaucoup eez not listening. ‘Excuzee moi’,
ah zay, ‘we were talking about a Decorated War ‘ero’.

‘Beaucoup, Ah ‘ave ‘ad it up to ‘ere’ ah roar

And suddenly le Chat Show iz abandoned for a game of ‘ad it up to ‘ere.

Zen Le Uncle takes off and ah am left standing but not for long…

Ah leap after ‘im faster zan a speeding pullet.

Narrowly avoiding la bermb someone left in le paddock.

Ah am not afraid of any bermb.

Ah choose to ignore eet.

Ah ‘ave more important Decorated War ‘ero stuff to do.
Ah fart in its general direction.

Ah wheel around to face mah foe but ‘e appear to be
running away from some left over ‘oly crap.

All zis time, Muzzerr as been asleep.

She eez a ‘opeless Muzzerr, ah may ‘ave to fire ‘er.
She even missed mah appearance on Beaucoup at Noon.

Le Sheeps will ‘ave to tell ‘er ‘ow urbane and chatty ah waz.
Ah go to look for Gollamb.