Today eet was cold and le sky leaked all over me.
Eet did not leak on Le Uncle because ‘e was dressed for eet.
Uzzerr Muzzerr rushed out just before le sky leakage, een a big panic and made ‘im wear ‘is rain coat.

Of course ah am a big boy now ‘oo need no rain coat. Rain Coats are for le ‘orzes ‘oo are beeg ‘Pooftas’. Le Uncle told me that – before ‘e ‘ad to wear ‘is.

Naturally,  thees ah point out to ‘im.

And suddenly, through no fault of mah own, ah am een beeg trouble.
‘COME’ERE AND SAY THAT you Hairy Leetle Tossa’ Le Uncle roar.
Ah was about to point out that ah was just there but suddenly,  Le Uncle try to bite mah berm’.

Le only thing ah can do ees run. Ah run as fast as ah can.

Finally ah am out of le forest and into le open. Le Uncle will never catch me ‘ere.

Next thing ah know, Le Uncle ees right een front of me, so naturally, ah decide to crash into ‘im to test le air bags een ‘is rain coat.

But Quelle ‘orreur, there are no air bags and eet ‘urt!
Ah am really mad now.

Le Uncle and ah fart eet out.
‘Where are your air bags Le Uncle?’ ah yell.

‘E try to get away on me but ah ‘ang on to ‘is collar.
‘Show me your air bag’ ah yell.
We are ‘aving a big fart over le missing air bags.

Suddenly ‘e stop and face me.
‘What tha bloody hell are you on about air bags son?’ ‘e ask.
‘Le Air Bags for when you ‘ave a crash’ ah say ‘Uzzer Muzzerr tell me all ‘elderlies’ should ‘ave them’.
Well that does eet, now ah am een for le big lecture.

Ah ‘ave no idea what ‘e ees trying to say because ‘e ees Australian and can not talk properly. So ah put on mah listening face but ah am thinking about why ‘e ‘ave big whiskers growing out of ‘is nose.

On and on ‘e go.  ‘e probably giving me a lecture all about Drop Bears and Kangaroos. Ah ‘ave no idea but ‘e does ‘ave long whiskers.
Ah wonder eef ah should pull them out for ‘im.

Suddenly Uzzer Muzzer come over and we decide to ask ‘er about le missing air bags.
All she want to know ees why we are farting so much.

Apparently there ‘as been some kind of mistake.
Le Uncle does not wear air bags.
Ah wonder eef there are any Drop Bears ‘ere.